Only You
by Autumn Willow
Summary: Mikan keeps having these nightmare about Natsume's past ever since she learned of it. Is Natsume really capable of doing those horrible things?
1. ordinary day

**Only You**

Chapter 01

* * *

_It was a good thing she has a nullifying alice._

_Screams filled the air, which smelled of burning flesh._

_Everywhere she turned, flames engulfed everything in their path mercilessly, as if determined to turn every single thing to ash. It spread and cackled with a life of its own._

_Curiously though… She felt light and cool, as if the place around her wasn't actually burning. She felt none of the heat of the fire surrounding her._

_People around her, on the other hand, were running and fleeing. They seemed to be running everywhere, as if there is nowhere they could escape to. Panic was evident in their faces._

_She then heard a woman cry out in agony._

_She turned around and saw a little girl, dead. The little girl was pinned down by an electric post that had been knocked down by the impact of a truck. The woman rocked back and forth, caressing her baby's head, and cried._

_But before she can do anything, she heard a voice._

"_You see what he did?"_

_Reo._

"_HE did this. He KILLED them all, and you know that. You know that he is capable of doing such things."_

_Mikan's eyes widened. _

_

* * *

_

"NO!" Mikan cried, abruptly sitting up with her arms outstretched reaching for something unseen.

Her breath came in heavy gasps as she felt her heart pound within her.

No… NO. She wouldn't believe it. She _refused_ to believe it.

Shutting her eyes, Mikan shook her head as if to knock the nightmare out of it.

She jumped, startled as her alarm clock went off.

_WAKE UP IDIOT! WAKE UP IDIOT! WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP! _

She didn't realize she actually woke up before it rang. Mikan grinned. Wait until she tells Hotaru! She _actually_ woke up _before_ the annoying alarm clock went off!

Humming cheerfully, her nightmare forgotten, Mikan went and got ready for class.

* * *

"Oh Hotaruuuu!" Mikan called, as she skipped towards her best friend, with arms stretched out preparing to hug her. "You'll never guess what happened this mo-"

"Get away from me." Hotaru said, as she slipped her Idiot Gun back into her pocket.

Mikan, from the sudden impact of the gun, was thrown back to the wall beside the door and rubbing her head, she said "You're so mean! Why do you always hit me with that gun of yours?" She threw a glare at Hotaru who only stared at her unemotionally.

As Mikan was just standing up, the door suddenly banged open, hitting Mikan who fell backwards.

Natsume and Ruka walked in.

"Oh Mikan! Are you okay?" Yuu rushed to Mikan.

Mikan, disoriented because of the sudden shift of gravity on her head, was dizzy. "huh? Whaaa-?"

Noticing Mikan on the floor, Natsume smirked, and walked on to his desk.

* * *

They were answering a math problem when a crumpled piece of paper landed on Mikan's desk. Startled, Mikan discreetly looked around and, finding that her classmates seemed to be concentrating hard on their work, she opened the paper.

_Switched to teddy-bears now have we?_

Mikan frowned. Teddy-bears? Wha-? Then at the sudden realization, Mikan blushed furiously and abruptly turned around.

At first glance, Natsume seemed to be concentrating hard on his workbook, but at a closer look, one could see the corner of his mouth twisting up into a very slight smirk.

Mikan wrote back a furious reply.

_Pervert._

Natsume's smirk only grew wider.

* * *

**A/N:** I had changed most part of this chapter except for the first line.

It has been a long time since I last wrote a fanfic so please bear with me. Do review and criticize as you see fit. Some help would be appreciated.

:)thank you so much!


	2. outside at night

**Only You**

Chapter 2

* * *

_Natsume stood rigid and wide-eyed as he took in what's happening around him._

_Everywhere around him was fire._

_Fire which seemed to dance in front of him mockingly, destroying what has once been his hometown._

_Pain and guilt, feelings that he has long struggled with, seeped through him as he stared on. His breath caught in his throat and his mind too numb to do anything._

_Babies crying, mothers screaming, sirens blaring, it was all too much. Too, too much!_

_Suddenly unable to take it any longer, Natsume fell to his knees and covered his ears._

_He could not bring himself to listen to this…this… - whatever this is!_

"_See what you've done?" a voice he's known well suddenly spoke, and, for a while, time seemed to stop. Everything around him turned still._

_Natsume's eyes, if possible, widened still._

"_Because of your alice, everything that's close to you is destroyed. And everything you've ever cared for WILL be destroyed."_

_Natsume's breathing hardened._

_Then suddenly, "Nooooo!" someone screamed._

--

Just then, he woke up.

Natsume blinked. Cold sweat covered him, and made him cold and hot at the same time.

He frowned slightly as he stared up at the ceiling, remembering his dream. He could still feel his pulse, just slowing down.

He knew it was a dream - a nightmare to be exact. But each and every time, they felt so real that it brought him shivers. Of course, he would never admit to anyone that nightmares make him shiver. Then again, who would believe him?

He frowned even more as he felt a slight tug at his chest and then even more so as he remembered how startlingly familiar the last voice was.

It wasn't unusual for him to have nightmares, he understood that. But this particular nightmare was rather… peculiar, to say the least.

For one, it wasn't just the usual 'memory-of-when-the-town-was-burned'. Instead, Persona was there.

Two, it felt even more real this time.

Taking a deep breath, Natsume sat himself up and lit a small flame on his hand.

He looked outside his window and saw the moon still high up in the sky.

1:00 a.m.

* * *

Natsume, being aloof, quiet, and very much angry at most of the things around him, liked peace and quiet. He savored moments at which he is alone and undisturbed. That's why he is found on a spot outside his dorm, and near the woods, at this time of the night. 

Leaning on a tree trunk and sitting with one leg stretched and the other bent, used to prop the comic book he brought with him.

Reading underneath the bright moonlight, Natsume enjoyed reading comic books.

Superheroes, these people often get to save ordinary people, get praised for it, and then appreciated. They never seem to dislike the power they have, and always seem to be able to use it well.

Unlike in the real world. Alices need to be kept hidden from the people who don't have it, or else they are in danger of being exploited. And you don't always get to have alices you like. Sometimes it's even too much for one person to control.

And this is why he liked reading the comic books, even if he knew they're only fiction. It's better than the real world anyway.

---

Natsume, being so engrossed with his comic book, as he was just coming to the exciting part, didn't hear the footsteps that went his way. Nor did he notice the shadow that crept up to him.

He was so engrossed with the book that he was oblivious to the world around him.

Until…

"Boo."

Natsume jumped and impulsively set fire to the cause of his surprise.

But alas, he wasn't meant to burn the person.

The person had a nullifying alice.

And Mikan, the one with the nullifying alice, seeing the priceless look on Natsume's face, burst out laughing.

"Ahahahahaha! You should've… s-seen the – heeheehee! - l-loo- ahahaha! – ook on y-your – wahahahaha! – face!" She was so red in the face.

Realizing who it was, Natsume glared at her. But she just continued laughing.

"What are you doing here, little girl?" Natsume asked, none too nicely.

It took Mikan a while to sober and as she did so, she wiped the tears on her eyes. She would forever remember the look on his face, and with a final giggle, she turned to Natsume, whose eyes burned, looking just about ready to fry her – if he could.

Before Mikan could answer Natsume's question, he picked up his comic book, turned his back on her and said rather coldly, "Go some place else."

Mikan blinked at the sudden change of mood in the atmosphere. "I'm sorry. It's just that I almost always only see you with one expression that it's surprising to get a new one so unexpectedly from you." She can't help letting out a small giggle.

After a moment of silence, Mikan continued. "I came down for a walk because I couldn't sleep." Her tone lost its cheeriness.

"I thought that maybe fresh air may help me forget about it and sleep better. But then it gets a little lonely." She paused.

"I'm glad I found you here tonight, and I really didn't mean to scare you. I didn't think you were that absorbed in your comic book, which, by the way, what is it about?" Her usual cheerfulness found its way back on her question.

Mikan waited for Natsume to answer.

"I wasn't scared." He replied at last.

"Huh?"

"You didn't scare me, little girl."

"Why do you keep calling me 'little girl'?"

"Alright, polka-dotted panties."

Mikan flushed at the memory it brought. "Not that!"

"What then? Teddy-bear panties?"

Mikan turned a brighter shade of red. "Pervert!" She glared. "I have a name you know!"

"So?"

"So you should call me by my name!"

"Why would I want to do that, _stupid girl_?"

At this, Mikan became furious and attempted to tackle Natsume from behind. But Natsume, whose reflex was as fast as the blink of an eye, whose senses as keen as a wolf, managed to dodge it perfectly. Mikan landed on her face in front of Natsume.

_Hearts now huh?_

Natsume smirked. He immediately thought up of what he can say next to annoy her even further. He decided to wait until she got up to make another remark.

Strangely, Mikan didn't seem to be moving. She was there, lying face first on the grass in front of him.

Natsume was about to get up to examine her when he heard a sound that was so like a snore.

_What's wrong with her?_

When he inched closer, he heard the sound again. He frowned.

_Something's definitely up with her._

He inched closer still. And that's when he heard it.

A clear and audible snore.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, I know it seems highly unlikely that that can happen. One minute she's furious, the next she's asleep. But hey, don't worry about it. , Never mind it for now. Okay? 

Thanks for reading! Please leave a review. : )

Critiques are welcome but please be nice!

Thanks to all those who reviewed:) You made me very happy. :)

I decided to continue this because I think there's a lot of things that'll be left hanging if I don't. The dream, to be exact. :) So yeah, I justHAD to continue. :)


	3. Strange things

**Chapter 3

* * *

**

Natsume was about to get up when he heard a sound that sounded something like a snore.

_What's wrong with her?_

When he inched closer, he heard the sound again. He frowned.

_Something's definitely up with her._

He inched closer still. And that's when he heard it.

A clear, audible snore.

---

Natsume gave Mikan, who was snoring softly, a disbelieving look.

She fell asleep!

Natsume frowned, but before he can think of anything else, he heard a twig snap somewhere in the woods behind them.

Reflexively, Natsume jumped into defensive stance, his senses heightening, ready to warn him if anything's amiss.

He would've immediately set fire in the direction of the noise, but he knew that if he did so, it would bring them attention, which is something he doesn't need right now.

He knew that though they weren't technically disallowed to go out of their dormitories at this time of the night, they would still be reprimanded for doing so. Besides, what would be their reason? Or rather, what would be _his_ reason to be out of here at this time of the night? He couldn't possibly tell them that he can't sleep because of his nightmares.

Natsume's eyes narrowed as he surveyed their surroundings once again.

After several moments, Natsume was just about convinced that it was nothing. Just then, someone called out to him from the top of a tree branch just behind.

"Natsume."

Persona.

There he was, looking like a goth, with his black coat, earrings, white mask and very pale skin, looking down at Natsume.

Natsume didn't say anything, and instead, wore his usual glare-but-blank look.

For a while, both just stood there, looking at each other, as if battling whoever can stay still the longest. But at long last, Persona glanced at Mikan then back at Natsume and spoke up.

"Remember what I told you." And with that, he disappeared through the woods, jumping from branch to branch.

Natsume looked after him, his jaw clenched. He then glanced down at Mikan, who was fast asleep, snoring softly, and quite oblivious to what just happened.

---

"Nmhmmhmh." Mikan mumbled in her sleep.

It was 6:54 a.m. and there Mikan was, lying on her side, tangled in her bed sheets, and snoring softly.

She mumbled again, this time, turning on her back and lips forming a smile, as if having a very pleasant dream.

Then quite suddenly, Mikan's eyes flew open.

She blinked and looked around her realizing she was in her room.

Mikan tried to recall what happened last night.

She distinctly remember being with Natsume. She remembered trying to tackle him but after that… nothing.

How did she get up here?

Mikan's eyes widened as realization hit her.

---

As Mikan entered their classroom, her eyes automatically went to the back of the room, searching for a certain purple-haired person.

She found him there just as she found him in the woods the night before – nose buried in his comic book.

She smiled just as she remembered the look on his face when she surprised him, and was just about to go to him to thank him for bringing her up back to her room when Mr. Narumi came into the classroom.

"Good morning class."

Mikan took her seat. She'll do it later.

---

Natsume was reading his comic book when he suddenly felt a tug in his chest.

He frowned. Then out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mikan enter the classroom. He quickly averted his eyes back to his comic book.

Although he appeared to be focused on his comic book, he was, in fact, not reading any of it.

His mind went back to what happened the night before. He glared at his comic book as he remembered how Mikan managed to surprise him and then laugh at him afterwards.

Persona's words echoed within him again and again. His jaw clenched as he thought of what Persona might have meant about it.

At the corner of his eyes, he saw Mikan going towards her seat with a smile on her lips as if laughing at an inside joke. He was just thinking of what to say to annoy her when Narumi came in the classroom.

Later then.

---

Natsume, who was lazily writing the essay Narumi made them do, was yet again recalling last night's events.

He was so deep in thought that he was startled when a crumpled piece of paper was thrown in his direction and landed on his desk.

He discreetly looked around, trying to decide whether this was a note to him or just a trash which someone carelessly threw over their shoulder.

All of his classmates seemed to be focused on their essays.

Natsume shrugged and was just about to throw the paper away when he noticed that the paper was pink.

Natsume frowned. They were supposed to use standard white paper when doing school work. That's when a pink pad paper caught his eye.

Hm. Idiot girl huh?

He looked at the crumpled piece of paper in his hand, wondering what she could have written. And so he opened it.

_Thanks._

He looked up and saw Mikan discreetly glance at him and then give him a small smile.

He looked at her as he would anyone on any other day, then he crumpled the paper and threw it away.

But curiously, he felt the same tug he felt earlier that morning.

* * *

**A/N**:

I'm so sorry for taking so long with this. Something went wrong with DSL. But anyway, here it is. Nothing much went on… I'm sorry because I've been lacking of inspiration.

I do hope you like it anyway. Thank you for reading!

Autumn Willow


	4. thoughtful afternoon

**A/N:**

I'm sorry for the delay. I just came back from a week long vacation from the southern part of my country and since it's a province, obviously there aren't a lot of internet sources there. Besides, it's not like you can expect me to write while relaxing off into an exotic island. ;p Just kidding:p

Well, to be honest I had been thinking about where my story should go and how things should happen. So yeah, for you guys, I didn't forget about this even while I was on vacation. ;)

Aren't I a sweet thing? . (Of course… you realize I'm saying all that just so no one would be mad… right?)

Ahahahaah:p yeah yeah, let's stop with this kidding nonsense and go on with the story. :D

**--------------------**

**Only You**

Chapter 4

-----------------

Mikan was sitting with her back against a tree one Saturday afternoon, and was unusually quiet. She was thinking about her recurring nightmares.

Normally, she wouldn't be scared of nightmares, thinking that it's just a product of a vivid imagination. But when it recurs… well that's a different story.

She remembered what her grandpa once told her. That sometimes, dreams are like signs. They give you hints as to what will be, or if not, the answer to what once was. Only, it's hard to tell which is imagination or is a sign. Though there are things you can look for to tell which is which, but, it's all really confusing.

She wondered if Sumire dreams about it too. After all, they were together when they heard about Natsume's past.

Mikan sighed.

She hasn't mentioned anything to anyone yet, even though she very badly wants to. If she did, she would have to explain what she and Sumire heard that night, and she felt as though she doesn't have any right to talk about Natsume's past to anyone else.

Mikan sighed again, folded her knees, pulled them up to her chest, put her arms around her legs and rested her chin on the valley between her knees.

She thought about asking Natsume about it, but didn't really know how to approach the subject.

She was just about to give up racking her brains about the matter when suddenly; Hotaru whizzed by on her flying scooter, and didn't seem to notice Mikan.

Mikan was just wondering what Hotaru was up to when a big rhino came charging up in the same direction as Hotaru. Mikan was hardly surprised to see Ruka riding on the back of the rhino, no doubt chasing Hotaru before she can blackmail him again.

She chuckled at her two friends and just then she was struck with an idea.

Who better to talk about Natsume than Ruka? Who was also her friend? No doubt Ruka can help her.

With that, Mikan smiled and cheerfully stood up. At least now she can do something about it. It's certainly a lot better than just sitting there and quietly thinking things through.

---------

Natsume sat on top of a tall tree branch, reading his favorite comic book, when he saw down below, Hotaru on her flying scooter and Ruka chasing after her with his rhino.

Natsume smirked inwardly at his best friend.

Ruka hated being blackmailed, especially with such embarrassing pictures! Oh how he _abhorred_ it. But Natsume couldn't help but think that his friend might actually enjoy chasing the black haired girl. Natsume knew that if Ruka really wanted to, he can easily get the camera from Hotaru with help from his animals, but somehow, Ruka chooses to only chase her with his rhino, and that struck Natsume as unusual. He'll ask about it some time.

Just as he was returning his focus back to his comic book, he felt a slight tug in his chest. Then suddenly a certain pigtailed girl came running in the same direction his friend and the blackmailer were going. His eyes followed her until he couldn't see her anymore, and then he went back to his comic book.

---------

Mikan found Ruka resting by the fountain near their dormitory. His rhino was drinking and looked very tired.

"Ruka!" Mikan called cheerfully.

Ruka looked up from his position and waved at Mikan. He patted the seat beside him where Mikan obliged by sitting down on.

"So where is Hotaru?" she asked, looking around.

Ruka gave out a frustrated cry. "She got away again with those pictures!" at the word 'again', his rhino looked up and made an apologetic cry at Ruka.

Ruka looked up at the rhino, patted it and said, "No, it's not your fault. Don't worry about it." It nuzzled its head against Ruka, careful not to injure them with its horn.

Mikan watched as the rhino went back to drinking from the fountain. Then she remembered why she was here.

"Ruka, I wanted to ask you something." She said, thinking about the right way to ask him about.

Ruka smiled at her, prompting her to go on.

Mikan bit her lip, unsure of how to ask. Then finally, "D…Did N-natsume … um," She started uncertainly.

"Yeah? What about Natsume?"

Mikan decided to tell him how she learned first. "Well… remember the day Natsume got kidnapped by the Anti-Alice Academy organization?"

"Mhm…" Ruka was growing suspicious.

Mikan went on, "You see… while we were there, I uh… well… I learned w-what Natsume d-did t-to his h-hometown." She said stuttering slightly on the last part.

When Ruka didn't say anything, Mikan then continued. "I uh… well… I just wanted to know ifhereallyburnedhishometown." Mikan rushed.

"What?" Ruka frowned. "Can you please speak slowly Mikan?"

Mikan took a deep breath and repeated her question, this time, slowly.

"I just wanted to know if Natsume really burned his hometown."

Ruka stared at her.

Mikan looked back at him, uncertain of what to do. Then suddenly, Ruka stood up.

"I… I have to go. I'm sorry." He started walking away from the fountain.

Mikan stood up and caught up with him. "Ruka wait!" She reached out and grabbed his wrist and pulled him to a stop. Ruka stood there with his back to her. "Ruka…"

Silence.

"Ruka…?" Mikan tried again but was still met with silence. "Ruka, why won't you answer me?"

Then Ruka turned his head to Mikan, "It's not me you should be talking to Mikan."

"If not you, then who?"

Ruka turned the whole way to Mikan and gave her a look that seemed to say 'duh!', "Natsume."

"Oh gee… that's right. I'll get him to talk." Mikan said, uncharacteristically sarcastic.

Ruka ignored the sarcasm and said, "Well, I'm sorry Mikan but the only person you can talk to about this is Natsume." And with that he walked away.

"But you know very well that I can't talk to Natsume about it!" Mikan cried frustratedly at Ruka's retreating back. She threw her hands in the air and froze as a voice suddenly spoke.

"Talk to me about what little girl?"

Mikan turned towards Natsume, panicking.

"I-I… uh, i-it's n-nothing Natsume." She said quickly and began to walk away when Natsume yanked her arm and pulled her towards him, but he did so too hard that they lost their balance and fell to the ground, ending up in a very compromising position.

And that was how two purple eyes saw them through a camera. She began clicking away.

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**A/N:**

Okay, okay, I know. Nothing much happened here, not too much NM thing, but don't worry. I'll make sure to put some in the next chapter okay:)


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